Clean vs. Dirty Grief

9 Aug 2015

Good discussion of tragedy and it's effect on us. Nothing I've done since Kaylan died has "resolved" my feelings about her not being here, and I have not "recovered". No advocacy, education, blogging, fundraising... cured me... it only helped me by having something else to do and think about. Being with other mothers who've lost kids to suicide has helped me "recover" the most, though recovery isn't really what's happened. I'm not the same. I'm scared to talk to people and socialize much. Every tiny setback often feels like a hopeless situation. That's not who I was before. Basically I would say that if a person is thinking of suicide I hope they can just take that option off the table in whatever way possible, because it decimates individuals and families. I like this distinction between "clean" and "dirty" emotional pain. I'm gonna print it out and keep it in my purse for a while.

Still the same.

Erica KitzmanComment