28 Nov 2014
Reading from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie this month. She says " I can choose to experience powerlessness as profound emotional growth." I love this.
During this time in my life, there was upheaval and growth. A friend and roommate dismissed me because I could no longer ignore her drinking in my house, and I'd taken to calling the police every time I knew she was driving drunk. I had struggled with that decision for a while but finally, I decided that I wouldn't be able to stand it if she ran over a child and I'd done nothing. After she moved out I found hospice medicine in the air vent below where her bed had been. That scared me witless as my baby grandson had spent hours with her in her room. I'm not mad at her because alcohol and drug addicts are unaware of their behavior when they're using. I am glad that she's out of my house and life. That 1.5 years that I spent with an active addict in my home was my final learning experience regarding how I am precisely not suited to living with all that in my home - no matter how much I love and care about someone. I see this as a giant step toward my own recovery from always-being-the-strong-one.