Interested in Health Again

18 June 2013

Nearly all foods in most fast-food restaurants contain added sugar, high fructose corn syrup, and cheap oils!

Grieving is weird. On the day I wrote the little post above, I had clearly become re-interested in health. Prior to that, from the day Kaylan died until... I don't know how long, I had been living on yogurt, coffee, and the occasional chocolate muffin. But my grandson was born five months earlier and I remember feeling a return to feeling alive.

Today I woke up feeling both accomplished and relieved. My radio show has only two more interviews, and one more edit, to go - and I am very proud of the production. Note that I'm proud of the production, yet the credit for making me sound like I know what I'm doing all goes to the amazingly talented sound engineer.

Now I have my new schedule: Self-care/exercise, getting my current book ready for publication, Norwegian language study, resilience studies initially via Mindfulness & Happiness courses, research-reading. This is my daily plan for the next 3 years.

As I write today I'm aware that I have recovered a certain joie de vivre. It is not the pollyanna-ish joy for life from before. It's punctuated with moments of deep self-loathing for my failures as a parent, with sudden crippling fits of grief sickness, and anger at the world for being so mean; yet, life today is purposeful and meaty - I don't spend time doing no-count activities anymore. Seven-and-a-half years past, life today is ten thousand times better than it was as a new-grief zombie.

 

Erica KitzmanComment