True Healing

20 May 2013

"True healing seems impossible for a parent or a sibling or a grandparent after a child has died in the family. We must learn how to live with it and we must learn how to go on. The best we can do is to try and make our lives and our actions reflect what that child would wish for us during the remainder of our lives." - The Compassionate Friends/USA

Indeed. So many of us hear things like "you're so strong," "I admire your determination to make the world a better place," "you are inspiring," etc.. Let's be clear about one thing - there's not a suicide postvention activist on the planet who stays in this effort long term unless they have suffered a loss. We are torn apart by losing our loved ones and we do what we do because we don't want anyone else to suffer our loss.

The Compassionate Friends is not specific to suicide loss, though they have been supporting parents, grandparents, and siblings for decades because of the need to grieve. Americans as a general group are crappy at grief in general and grief support specifically. We need to learn to cry again, to take food to the suffering, to hold people's hands and sit with them during times of tragedy.