May 30, 2013
"Often you will be asked, 'isn't it time that you move on?' Tell them that you will move forward when you are ready, and when you do, you will always have your dear one in your heart, woven into your soul, and within every breath." - "Transcending Loss: Understanding the lifelong impact of grief
Nobody has had the nerve to say this to me, although one of my other kids justly reminded me that our other kids still wanted attention. I appreciated that reminder, because for the first two years I couldn't connect very well with the others. Every time I looked at our children, or our grandkids, I saw potential death. Added to this were the hurtful things that some family members had said to me about my parenting which left me feeling like my presence could be literal poison. Here's the thing about cruelty - it's about the person who is saying it, not the victim. It's bad manners at best and worst it's life-threatening. Nobody's perfect, and reminding a bereaved parent of these imperfections serves no purpose at all. The biggest comfort that I have about my abilities as a parent and grandparent is that my other children trust me with theirs.