24 Feb 2013
"And you? When will you begin your long journey into yourself?" - Surfing Rainbows
This was around the time I began to be exhausted by codependent caregiving. I also became aware that the most well-intentioned people - including me - could not always carry their intentions through to a place of goodness. My judgement became worse in grief. As a result we ended up with a pregnant young meth addict living in our house followed by an alcoholic older woman who's drinking-related behavior wreaked havoc in our lives for nearly two years.
Then my mother-in-law, who was also my dear friend, started to die. During the time of caring for her, I became aware of the difference between caring out of love and caregiving out of fear or obligation. I miss her.