23 April 2012
I am not beyond repair.
There's a historic Japanese artform called Kintsukuroi in which broken ceramic vessels are repaired with gold. Healing from the suicide of my daughter makes me feel like this is happening to me. I am not who I used to be yet, even though I feel valueless, I still have value to my family and friends. I can hear you - the reader - muttering that nobody is valueless, etc., but I do feel valueless and I am alive and functioning. That is the truth of opposites. Maybe I will feel like a person of value someday, but for now, I continue to rely on the love and companionship of my family to give me value. I believe them. Their love is the gold sealing my broken parts together.