The Jetski Solution *
21 May 2011
My online grief group
I wanted to tell her story of this time, and ended up telling a part of my own as well. My previous life with my kid's dad was so private and secretive. He was a good-hearted, hard-working, ethical guy, so I was always confused by his intense need for privacy. He just never wanted people to know his business.
When my kid's dad was dying, Darrell and I bought a jetski so we could take the teenagers to blow off steam. It was a sad summer, and as fun of a summer as we could make it. Among my favorite photos of our kids is one of my daughter taken at Lake Clementine in California. She was a wreck that summer, so the distraction and fresh air was wonderful. For a few hours each weekend Darrell and I would take our teenagers to the lake and play our cares away for a few hours.
Kaylan seemed to need the distraction more than the others. She had gone to Europe for 6 months and worked as a humanitarian volunteer in several countries, and returned to find her dad very ill. We all knew her dad was terminal, but he wanted to tell her himself - and then he couldn't. She went to his house, and when she came home she was shaking and crying and demanded to know if he was dying. I had to tell her. Poor girl.
I wish he had been able to discuss his dying process with his children. With all of us. I guess it simply wasn't his way.