Grief comes from Love
1 Jan 2018
The reasons I'm writing this book are not entirely clear to me. In part I simply want to get my grief, and the thoughts and feelings that come with it, out of my head and onto paper. I also want to leave a record in case anyone ever seriously studies suicide loss survivors in years to come. Because other mothers books have helped me so much, I want to let other mothers see inside my journey and maybe feel a bit less insane. It's to tie up my years of learning about mental illness, suicide, postvention, and advocacy in a neatly wrapped package to store on a shelf. I want to move on to practicing resiliency full time and leave this hard work to younger people. I want to garden, play with my grandkids, crochet, and write stories. I feel selfish to want out of what I've been doing since my daughter died, but I do.
The reasons I'm writing this book as a retrospective diary is to honor - and reflect upon - my grief journey thus far. As with any diary, some entries are boring while others are powerful and enlightening. Some are angry. Some hopeful. All are mine: my thoughts, actions, and feelings - then and now. Seven years seems a good time to look back.