This morning I ran across an intriguing book title. It's titled Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation and was written by Janina Fisher
The term "self-alienation" is completely new to me but rings true in my deepest self. Self-alienation entered my life after my daughter died of suicide. First was the immediate fact that I felt too raw to interact with very many people. Second was the criticism of my parenting, by three of my closest relatives, which devastated my sense of self-respect far past the suffering caused by loss - somehow outweighing my son continued assurances that I am and was a good mama. Finally, it has come from being overwhelmed by my own advocacy work which is why I'm taking a long break from postvention. I'm giving myself the leeway to make this break permanent and already I feel a lightness of being that left with my daughter.