Self-Esteem

For Eric N.

Of my search for self-esteem resources I appreciate the  Mayo Clinic self-esteem check - especially their statement that "past experiences and relationships don't have to be your destiny."

While several sites cite the benefits of developing high-self esteem, what I didn't find was anything that spoke to me about HOW to do so. Developing higher self-esteem while struggling with low self-esteem... I dunno, seems like a cyclical battle at best. But again - I'm not a professional in this area at all, so hopefully I'm mistaken.

BUT WOWIE KAZOWIE I found this video on the topic of the difference between self-esteem and self-compassion that's rocked my perspective on the topic.  Kristin Neff - who made the video - is Co-Founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.

Her discussion of the rise in narcissistic behavior among the self-esteem generation is compelling! I wouldn't want to go too far into narcissism though, because it seems like it's become the psych-slam buzz-word of the day. WebMD delineates the two in an easy to read medically based article which makes sense to me.

There's so much that I like so much about this distinction between self-compassoin and self-esteem, because for me it's more effective for me to think that "I am deserving of consistent courtesy and kindness from others" than "I am capable of high functionality while handling an abusive person." The first statement simply states that because I breathe air I'm deserving of peace, while the second states that another person's detrimental actions are somehow mine to accept and deal with.

Here's a Christian based self-esteem outreach that describes self-esteem as equal to self-regard, though my opinion is that these two are different. The way I see it, esteem can be taken, regard earned, while compassion is something given/received regardless of having been earned. 

I realize that I hammer on GGSC and MindUp frequently, yet to date I haven't found anything else that speaks to my own need for science based info re emotional and mental wellness and resilience... When I do I'll add that in to my toolbox.

Peace to you, Erica

 

 

Erica Kitzman